It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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