I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
