What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
