Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
