But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
