That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize