Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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