I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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