the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
