If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
