The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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