I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
