How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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