You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
