So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
