He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
