your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
