just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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