we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
