I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
