I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
