Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
