nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
