Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No I am not eating basil off your cock
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
