How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize