so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
