Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
