I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
