who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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