I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
