ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
