I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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