Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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