my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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