Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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