Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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