is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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