i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
