well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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