Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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