how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
