I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize