I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
