My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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