her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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