My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
