yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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