I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize