I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
