so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
operation harelip BJ is a go
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You made out with two different species that night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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