Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
