that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
