My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
