We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i need some magic done to my vagina
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
