I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize
