I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
