A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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