11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
