So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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