I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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